


I know I'm not alone when the darkness hits me

by pseudofoucault333



Series: ROK Standalones [15]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And it might just lead to a sequel...but we'll see..., Blow Jobs, Bondage and Discipline, Bottom!Bucky, Bucky and Steve apparently have a bit of a military Fetish going on..., Bucky has a shit day, Bucky might just have a little fantasy involving the Captain America suit..., Bucky remembers, But he'll never tell..., First Kiss, First Time, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve is anything but a pacifist, Steve makes it all better, Steve's the logical one, Yeah I don't know either, top!steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:11:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1786762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudofoucault333/pseuds/pseudofoucault333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky seems to be having just one of those days, but never did he imagine that Steve would know just the right way to make him feel better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know I'm not alone when the darkness hits me

**Title:** I know I’m not alone when the darkness hits me.  
**Author:** lovin_torture // Pseudofoucault333  
**Fandom:** The Avengers Movie verse / Post Winter Soldier verse  
**Pairing/character:** James 'Bucky' Barnes/Steve Rogers  
**Rating:** M/E  
**Prompt & Prompter:** enmuse -> Any (The Avengers),Any M/M (James Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers), BDSM, bondage, and anything else, Character A is frustrated as they are having a Murphy's kind of day where everything goes wrong until character B takes control.  
**Kink:** BDSM, Bondage, Military fetishization [Technically]  
**Notes/Warnings:** Technically there is spoilers in the form of the end of the Captain America: The winter Soldier movie but seriously I'm sure most of us will have seen it enough to not be spoiled so no drama there, the rest is mostly my own ideals of Bucky being unprogrammed from The Winter Soldier Persona. In this fic it's partly my headcanon and partly inspired by my prompter but it kind of works...even if I'm still not really happy with it. Written from 3rd PoV which might explain why I don't like it so much :/ Title © Say Lou Lou, I don't own or hold any claim to the characters etc all © to Marvel and there's been no betaing so if there's any mistakes it was my own fault :) 

It had been a bad day, one of those kind of days where Bucky wished he’d never bothered to get out of bed until the next one started. If It wasn’t him spilling the breakfast, that Steve had made him before he left, down his front; it was the fact there was no hot water for his shower. Add to that the fact that all his clothes needed to be washed only to be topped with the fact that his arm had chosen that day of all of days to stiffen up because he had been neglecting doing his exercises for the past couple of weeks.

It had seemed that these kind of days always happened when Steve was away, doing a mission for the newly reformed SHIELD or being talked into another and though he knew Steve could always tell he found it difficult to be alone. Every time Steve asked or gave him the opportunity to ask him not to go, he’d still find himself instead saying he’d be fine when he mentioned the next one for however many days.

After all he had been able to survive alone for years until he had met Steve again. Granted, he hadn't been himself and had had his mind wiped so many times that half the time he had no idea who he really was. But that was before, before when he had been a hired gun for hire for an agency he would never have willingly joined if they had given him the chance to say no. But now he was back on the road to recovery, a little bit at a time, slowly being snapped out of the old routine of doing a job and being put on ice for extended periods of time. And while he was still coming around let alone reacquainting himself with the memories that Hydra had locked away out of reach, every day he seemed to feel a bit more like James Bucky Barnes again.

But he would have to admit that having Steve around back in his life had made the transition back to a civilian of sorts a lot easier than he would have thought possible. Having someone to explain things to him that he didn’t know with comparisons from the forties helped, who would share all that he could remember about before and listen to Bucky when he was having confusingly jumbled memories. Helping him to unravel the cobwebs into something that reminded him of the truth, let alone having someone who had been through it himself made it easier.

Yet it had been easier when he was around more of course. But keeping Steve from doing what he was built for even if it hurt, was something that Bucky refused to do. Just as he had survived to a degree without Steve, Steve had built a life for himself without Bucky. Though there was still the same skinny little runt of a best friend inside the muscular man he knew, that would do anything he asked and looked at him with those beautiful blue eyes, he couldn't keep him to himself. No matter how hard it was to ignore that part of him that wanted just that.

After the failure of the beginning of the day, and borrowing some of Steve’s clothes which were a bit baggy on him, he tried to push away the pessimism nagging at the corners of his mind like Steve would have made him do. He could hear his friend’s voice in his head murmuring soothing words about taking things a step at a time and not jumping to conclusions about why it seemed like such a bad day. It was that which seemed to make him all the more fixated on going for a run to and through central park. Hopefully the exercise along with a bit of stretching would ease his arm’s pain as much as the pessimism.

But even his attempt at erasing his frustration didn’t help to rebalance the equilibrium of his unlucky day.

He ran out of Steve’s house, his ears filled with music from the mp3 player Steve had told him he could borrow at any time, and yet as he was crossing the street without looking at the lights he almost got run over by a yellow cab. He could hear the cabbie cursing at him even as he ran away, trying to keep his mind on the soothing tones of Harry James crooning in his ears and the memories that flowed through his mind associated with the song. He managed to make the rest of the run to the park without an interruption and was beginning to think his day had finally readjusted itself to normal as he entered the park. 

Of course it was then that a flurry of students on bikes appeared around him, one of them attempting to knock him over while another ended up falling off their bike from not paying attention to where they were going. Bucky restrained the urge to cast them a glare or go off the handle at them, and carried on running, ignoring the throbbing pain in his legs due to his body not being used to running so far for a while. But once he reached a spot of privacy on the main path he did make sure to stop and do his arm’s exercises even though he didn’t doubt that it looked weird to the people passing by. 

It was then that he stopped for a bit of a rest on the nearest bench, his mind more fixated on the music reminding him of a dance that he and Steve went to with a couple of girls. Yet he could see quite vividly the way that Steve hadn’t looked happy. That while he had danced with the girl Bucky had wrangled for him a couple of times it was more than obvious that there was someone else on his mind. The memory was gone as quickly as it had appeared, causing Bucky to try and bring it back, so he could make more sense out of it but it refused to reappear. 

True, from what it was he could remember of the past he and Steve had been close. They had shared an apartment and a bed for crying out loud. You’d have to be pretty close to do that, though of course forties social values were different to those in the now. But the more he thought of it the more he could remember his own feelings for Steve which seemed to be blossoming under the surface again. The feelings that had plagued his every waking moment with the man, the feelings he had tried to think of as that of a friend especially when he was looking after him through one of his bouts of flu or asthma attacks. 

But those nights he would lay on his side and watch Steve’s moonlight profile, admiring his lips and the way his eyelashes flickered as he dreamed. An urge inside him to just brush his fingertips against the skin of his cheeks, and graze his lips with his own. It was that which made something inside Bucky drum against his chest. Those feelings had never completely disappeared, even when they were in the army and there was 'Don’t ask, Don’t tell', Bucky had tried not fixated on those feelings. Thinking it was a one off and nothing else.

But why were they only just coming back to him now? Why not on any of those mornings when he’d seen Steve walking out the bathroom in a towel and asked him about his arm? Or when Bucky was helping to stitch up a temporary injury after Steve came back from a mission so he could get some sleep? Though to be fair his psychiatrist had told him it would take a while for him to remember everything that the old James ‘Bucky’ Barnes had known or felt. That in itself settled him, for the time being anyway.

It was then that Bucky decided he should go back to the house to check on his washing and maybe make something for lunch. It was only when he got up and looked behind him that he realised he had been sitting in someone’s used gum causing him to groan in the back of his throat. Of course. With a sigh and the knowledge he should probably wait till he got back to the house to deal with it, Bucky started the run back through the park. He made sure to keep out the way of any people on bikes but instead ended up tripping into a yoga class when his aching legs caused him to fall. He apologised profusely and managed to get up before any of the class cursed at him before settling for walking back to the house, he’d had more than enough exercise for the day anyway.

Yet once he got back to the house after managing to focus on not upsetting any more cabbies, he was met to the sight of the kitchen flooding from the washing machine. Just what he didn’t need. He managed to stop the machine and pull his sopping wet clothes out into a basket. Which he set on top of the machine while he mopped up the floor and made a note to call a plumber just to check there had been no damage before he looked into the issue with the machine. By then he was exhausted and decided he really would just go back to bed. To hell with eating or bothering to clean the ruined and sweaty clothes of Steve’s, he needed to just pretend this day had never happened. Or at least that’s what he was thinking as he settled on the couch for a nap when he heard the front door open, causing one of Bucky’s eyes to open on instinct.

Usually any number of Steve’s friends would come around if they felt the need, not even thinking to call ahead because half the time they knew Steve wasn’t there and they could just grab what they needed without him knowing. It bothered Bucky more than it should, and he knew it, but still he didn’t like the thought of someone randomly appearing in the house while he was sleeping whether he knew them or not. But the sight of Steve appearing with a duffel bag over his arm and a weary yet relieved look on his face told Bucky he had been through so many time zones in the past few hours that he couldn't remember if he should be sleeping or not.

“Hey, I thought you said the mission was going to be a long one.” Bucky said, pushing himself up from the couch and taking Steve’s bag from him since he looked like he was about to fall over. Even though Steve was much stronger than he used to be it didn’t stop Bucky from still treating him like the scrawny kid he used to look after.

“It ended up being shorter than we thought...are you wearing my clothes?” Steve asked, with a raised eyebrow as Bucky put the bag aside, hoping to block Steve’s want to go into the kitchen as he often did when he came back.

“Erm...yeah. I didn’t have any clean clothes…sorry.” Bucky said, which caused Steve to smile as something inside Bucky jump into his throat at the sight.

“Don’t be…though I do hope you’ll at least wash them before you give them back…if you give them back.” Steve said, pushing the kitchen door open and causing Bucky to grimace as he followed him inside.

“What happened here? I leave you alone for a few hours and…” Steve said looking around at the glistening of water still remaining on the floor tiles incredulously before looking back at Bucky, though his joking smile seemed to fade at whatever look was crossing Bucky’s.

“The washer broke while I was doing my clothes. Seems like nothing’s going right for me today.” Bucky sighed, leaning against the counter and sinking to the damp floor as he buried his face in his knees.

“Hey, it’s OK. I was only joking Bucky.” Steve said softly, sitting beside him on the floor, though it was clear to him that there was more bothering him than just a busted washing machine and having to borrow his best friend’s clothes.

“Yeah, I know. I just guess I'm just having one of those days and I find myself wishing I’d never got out of bed.” Bucky said, resting his chin on his knees as he stared at the cupboards opposite.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened? It might make you feel better.” Steve suggested, tilting his head as he watched Bucky offer him a small smile and a nod.

Bucky told him everything, from dropping the breakfast to the busted washing machine and everything in between. And to some degree Steve was right, he did feel a little bit better, but the thoughts he had been familiarising himself with again was the one thing he had left unsaid. There was no telling if Steve even felt that way about him…and for Bucky to tell him how he felt and become a degenerate to society was definitely something Bucky didn’t want. Steve was the only good thing he had in his life at the moment and he would rather suffer in silence than lose that.

“Let’s put things in prospective firstly yeah?” Steve asked, his gaze rested on Bucky as he spoke. “You spilled the breakfast because you refuse to sit at the counter like a normal person so that’s easily fixed. If you wash your clothes once a week instead of waiting for them all to be used you wouldn't need to use my clothes…as for the hot water I may be partly to blame for that. But I was thinking of getting a new boiler since you moved in so that would fix things.”

Bucky nodded silently, watching Steve count every bad thing that had happened off his fingers and while he knew he should be listening he could only focus on his lips and how much he wanted to kiss them. To taste them and feel their soft skin against his own. Yet if Steve noticed that Bucky wasn’t voicing objections to everything he said he didn’t say anything just continued to speak rationally.

“…and lastly I've been meaning to upgrade the washing machine anyway. Though we may need to go to a local Laundromat for the next few days while I look into it.” Steve said, his voice finally seeming to break through Bucky’s silent adoration.

“No problem.” Bucky agreed, his gaze back on the cupboard opposite to stop himself from acting on what he really wanted to do.

“But there is one other problem I think we need to work through first.” Steve said, which immediately got Bucky’s attention again, almost as though he was afraid Steve had felt his gaze lingering on his lips more than any sane person.

“And what’s that? I’m all ears.” Bucky said, yet he seemed to be a bit taken back when Steve brushed his curled thumb and index finger against his chin before kissing him deeply. It screamed of the kind of innocence that Bucky had always imagined a kiss from Steve would be like. But at the same time, there was a passion behind it that made Bucky unafraid to respond with as much intimacy and hunger that had been kept hidden away for so long.

Steve’s finger brushed down his neck now that he knew he had Bucky’s attention and it made Bucky moan softly at the feel of his friend’s calloused hands grazing down over his stubble and soft skin. It was only when Steve broke the kiss to nip playfully at Bucky’s lip that he spoke again.

“I’d been wanting to that for so long Bucky, and now seemed as good a time as any if only to get your mind of all the crappy things that happened today. I hope I didn’t over step the line.” Steve said softly, the last eight words said uncertainly as though he felt like he had pushed Bucky to do something he didn’t want to.

“Would you believe I had been wanting to do that just as long and I appreciate the thought? But I really don’t think that’s going to be enough for me now Steve.” Bucky said softly, brushing his thumb over Steve’s slightly swollen bottom lip causing Steve to blush a little.

“I don’t think it’ll be enough for me either. I want to help you regain your sense of control over your life in any way I can Bucky. And if that’s a way that you think might help…not just because of how you feel, then I’d be more than OK with that.” Steve said softly, his gaze rested on Bucky’s face like a man who had been deprived of water for months. It was an expression that Bucky remembered all too clearly, it was the same kind of expression he had seen, well the Winter Soldier, had seen when he first went after him. He still saw it on the odd occasion when he knew that Steve was watching him out the corner of his eye.

“I want nothing more. No matter what entails Steve, I need to be back in control and at the hands of the guy I trust with my life it seems like a perfect solution.” Bucky smiled, grazing his fingertips over Steve’s features softly as he had always dreamed of doing.

It was endearing to still see the flush brushing Steve’s cheeks with every touch that Bucky gave him, even before he watched Steve get to his feet, his stance quickly changing to that of a Sergeant about to command a Private. It sent a shiver of want through Bucky’s body as if he had always subconsciously dreamed of Steve addressing him as such on the missions they were on before he had got caught or fallen. But Steve being Steve he had always treated Bucky like an equal instead of a subordinate, as though he respected Bucky no matter what rank he had. But it seemed in this case it was going to be a whole different kettle of fish, giving Bucky orders as though he was a new recruit who had just been pushed out the Academy on to active duty. But the words he spoke next were definitely something Bucky hoped Steve had never said to a new recruit of there were going to be a fair few questions he would be unable to stop himself from asking.

“Then in that case, I think you’d better follow me into the bedroom…” The tone of Steve’s voice was the one that he had often used with the Howling Commandos when discussing their next issue of attack. It left no room for argument and that was definitely the mindset that Bucky found himself in, taking orders and living for that and that alone.

He pushed himself to his feet as he watched Steve’s figure disappearing through the kitchen door into the lounge, his heart racing in his chest as the anticipation of what he had just agreed to became all the more real to him. He was about to pull Steve’s shirt off over his head as he walked through the door into the lounge when he heard Steve yelling his rank in a warning tone even though Bucky could plainly see Steve’s eyes were revelling in the view.

“Yes sir?” Bucky asked, stopping with the shirt still hung around his neck as he looked at Steve imploringly almost as though he was daring to break his promise and just let him go through with it. But from the look on Steve’s face and the glint of metal from the handcuffs he was spinning around his index finger it was more than obvious he was getting ideas.

“Did I say you could remove your shirt?” Steve asked, his tone twinged with warning as he approached Bucky with an eyebrow raised.

“No sir.” Bucky said edgily, take an involuntary step back as Steve moved towards him.

“Then why did you?” Steve’s voice soon came from behind him, as though he managed to sneak behind Bucky while his mind was fixated all the things he was sure he and Steve were going to do when they got upstairs. If they ever got upstairs.

“Initiative, sir?” Bucky said, the statement sounding more like a question than an answer to Bucky’s own ears and from the way Steve tilted his head he could hear it too.

“Well usually I do encourage initiative but, you are under my command at this moment…so maybe…just maybe we should discipline you. Get down on your knees Private. No, leave the shirt the way it is.” Steve said, moving himself back in front of Bucky as Bucky got to the floor on his knees as though he was a Christian praying to a deity. Though as Steve quickly moved back behind him he knew that that wasn’t going to be as easy as doing push ups with something heavy on his back.

He felt the open cuff of the handcuffs brushing around the wrist of his still attached arm and tried to keep his body still as he heard the sound of it clicking shut and the feel of the pressure against his skin. Then he heard the sound of metal meeting metal in a clang as Steve moved to his metal arm, the same sound of clicking shut before only this time with the sound of the teeth of the cuff scratching against the metal plating. Admittedly it was a little unnerving that he was immobile and unable to do anything in response to whatever Steve did next, but he knew this was Steve and whether he was in control or not he would never do anything to hurt him…well not seriously anyway.

“Good, You’ve stayed perfectly still…” Steve whispered in his ear, the feel of his breath against his neck causing the hairs on the back of Bucky’s neck to stand up. “Now, you’re going to open my pants zipper without your hands.”

Bucky’s eyes widened as he saw Steve stand in front of him again, his legs either side of Bucky’s hips and hands rested on his own hips as though he was waiting for his friend to get started. Bucky licked his lips and swallowed before moving his head in the direction of Steve’s zipper, though the fact he was doing this was a little unnerving to him since it was the first sexual thing he was doing with Steve. Yet he knew and understood why Steve was doing it; issuing orders and taking away Bucky’s need to make decisions about what happened next. 

He restrained his metal hand’s reflex to pull itself out of the cuff, as it always had in the past like it was an inbuilt technique that had been inserted in the arm, and focused on doing what Steve wanted. His lips brushed against the denim of Steve’s jeans when he was close to the zipper. The taste of freshly laundered denim lingering on the tip of his tongue as he nuzzled the fly a little so his teeth could rest around the zip before pulling the zip down in one fell swoop so the room was filled with the shriek of it. He felt Steve’s calloused hand rested in his hair, brushing it away from his forehead as he rewarded him for doing as he had asked. Though he didn’t tell Bucky to get up, so Bucky knew there was so much more to this than just helping him undress. Yet again he had to mentally remind himself that Steve would never push him over the edge, he knew his limits better than anyone.

“Good, that’s so good. Now…suck me off…” Steve said softly, though from the pause Bucky knew Steve was struggling to stay in the persona of someone who asked people to service him so crassly. 

Thankfully Steve didn’t tell Bucky to undo his button with his mouth too because Bucky wasn’t sure if that was something that he would be able to do. Soon Steve’s jeans and underwear was down around his ankles and Bucky was left with the very real view of a half-naked Steve the mere sight of which made his mouth water. Bucky tried to keep himself under control, pressing kisses to Steve’s inner thighs to relax him and assure him he wasn’t getting freaked out for whatever reason. No, this was one of Bucky’s fantasies, admittedly a little bit backwards with him in Steve’s place and vice versa but they could always get to that another day. 

Bucky’s lips continued to move up Steve’s thighs until his nose was able to nuzzle at Steve’s cock which seemed like it was practically aching to stand to attention on its own without Bucky even doing anything yet. He heard Steve catch his breath, momentarily breaking his Captain persona, as Bucky moved to breath a barely there butterfly kiss to the underside of Steve’s cock as he adjusted his position so he could get his lips to the tip of his cock. It was a few more barely there kisses and one swipe of his tongue to get to the tip which he only did to see if Steve would break again but he seemed like he had learned from his mistake and managed to stay silent. 

Bucky’s lips engulfed the tip of Steve’s cock, kissing it a little and licking the precum from it with his tongue, the salty taste of Steve’s cum lingering around in his mouth. It was uniquely Steve combined with the taste of his skin which seemed to be soap, vanilla and some of that ridiculously expensive shampoo that he knew Stark had talked him into buying the one and only Steve had let him talk him into a day of pampering. He could feel his mouth watering around Steve’s cock as he was getting ahead of himself, the taste of Steve enough to make him want to just go for it. To just let Steve shove himself down his neck, no matter if it gagged him. Yet he knew it was never going to happen at that moment, and he did have some control over the matter. He opened his mouth a little more and softly grazed the underbelly of Steve’s cock with his teeth, feeling Steve shuddering as though he too was getting himself wound up the longer Bucky was taking.

Finally Bucky’s lips grazed Steve’s pubic bone, nestled in the hair which looked like it was better groomed than he had ever thought Steve would care for. His nose nuzzled against Steve’s skin a little tauntingly before beginning to suck him off, gently moving his head back and forth in rhythm with Steve’s more than obvious thrusts. It was still taking Steve all his strength to keep up the façade on, but with every few jerks he would see Steve’s head tilting back a little in the most endearing way ever. It didn’t take long for Steve to come, the taunting and teasing Bucky had been using had obviously affected Steve more.

And though Steve tried to pull himself out of Bucky’s mouth before, ever the considerate gentleman, Bucky refused to let him, just wanting to taste the essence of him in his mouth. Wanted to experience the aftermath of his orgasm with him. After trying without success and not very hard, Bucky’s mouth was soon filled with the salty taste of Steve. It remained on his taste buds even when Steve managed to pull himself out and disappeared to clean himself up a little, leaving Bucky to swallow it just as Steve appeared with a glass of water and an empty glass as though he’d been about to tell Bucky to spit it out.

But when Bucky opened his mouth to show it was gone, Steve set the empty glass down and helped Bucky down a mouthful of water to ease the taste. Finally Steve helped him to his feet with a hand under his arm pit which Bucky was more than relieved about, his legs going numb somewhere around the middle of the blowjob. 

“Now, I think we should get upstairs before you give me any more reason to come up with ways to punish you Private.” Steve said, his voice was back to the commanding tone but at the same time he sounded a little winded as though Bucky’s blow job had affected him a lot more than he was willing to let on.

Bucky made it up the stairs, feeling a little off balance with his arms still cuffed behind him, leaving him to bang off the parallel walls of the staircase. He moved aside to wait for Steve, not being able to do anything else even if he wanted to and he was sure that was what Steve had had in mind anyway. Steve appeared before him with another pair of handcuffs that made Bucky feel a little uncertain at the possibilities, he could handle having his hands cuffed but his ankles brought up bad memories. Yet he said nothing, letting his lips be directed to Steve’s for a breathtaking kiss that had him leaning up against the wall and crushing his arms behind him as Steve deepened it hungrily; the blow job obviously riling him up for more. 

Their lips parted after a while but their foreheads still rested against the other for a second before Steve pulled Bucky’s shirt from around his neck and threw it to the floor. He then turned to open the door to his bedroom. Bucky managing to regain his balance and push himself away from the wall as Steve called the rank he had assigned him from the room expectantly.

Bucky had never been into Steve’s room since he moved into his old friend’s brownstone. He didn’t want to push the boundaries between them when they were getting to know each other again, but from what he could see it was as though the young runt he had used to live with still existed and that made something inside him smile. The bed was a double in the middle of the room, the room around it was tidy as came with being in the military and the closet doors were open revelling Steve had packed in a hurry that morning before leaving. But it was the bookshelves filled with notepads which Bucky didn’t doubt were filled with sketches, the books on the wars and the nineteen forties which screamed that part of Steve still lived in that world. Still missed it and wished he had been able to see the outcome for himself, even if meant he had died there. 

But the few new high-tech details told of the world that they were in now, the charging kindle on top of the shelves, the tablet sat forgotten beside the bed and the iPod in the dock on top of a dresser. It was beside the iPod that he spotted a black and white photo of Steve and him, back in the nineteen forties, on one of those nights when Bucky had dragged him out with two dates. Only it was of just the two of them, Bucky with his arm around Steve’s slender shoulder and bright smiles of two would-be soldiers.

“Come here Private.” Steve’s voice was low as though he could see what Bucky was observing about the room but wanted to keep him focused. 

Bucky stood in front of him, his gaze fixated on the barely lit features of his best friend as he wondered what was going to happen next.

“Good. Now what I want you to do….is remove your pants and crawl on to the bed…face the wall and only the wall. Do you hear me?” Steve asked.

“Yes sir.” Bucky said automatically, not wanting to even consider asking him how exactly he was supposed to remove his pants with his hands cuffed. Come on he should be able to think of something…it’s not like he was wearing jeans. 

He felt Steve’s presence leave him and heard his footsteps receding down the stairs as though he had forgotten something. He sighed and managed to slide his cuffed hands to the elastic band of Steve’s track suit bottoms and pulled them down to the tops of his legs, ignoring the pain from his arms at the position he was putting them to. Once they were around his legs he managed to step out of them, with a little difficulty, and move in the direction of the bed. Again there was some difficulty in climbing up on to the bed without the use of his arms but he managed it, crawling his barely dressed form up to the top of the bed with his gaze rested on the wall. He wasn’t sure how long he just sat there before he heard the door to the room close, and the click of a light somewhere over his shoulder giving minimal illumination, but it was better than darkness.

“Good Private.” Steve’s voice crooned in his ear, making something in Bucky’s stomach feel like it was exploding into butterflies. He felt Steve’s fingertips brushing over his back tentatively, his lips grazing over the left side of his neck almost as though he was rewarding him. It was the best kind of reward Bucky could have ever asked for.

It was then that he felt the pressure from the cuff around his flesh wrist ease and swallowed as he wondered what Steve was going to do next. His arms were positioned in front of him and then the cuff reapplied. His mind was distracted by Steve’s teeth nipping at the side of his neck almost as though he wanted to leave a mark, a badge that Bucky would wear proudly without a doubt. It was then he heard another cuff from the other set being closed around the chain obstructing his arms before the sound of metal clicking against metal and then the sound of another cuff being closed.

“You’re being so good for me Private.” Steve whispered softly, kissing at his pulse spot before Bucky felt his presence behind him leave. He closed his eyes and hoped Steve hadn't left him in whatever position he was now in.

But soon he could hear the sound of items of clothing being removed, thrown aside haphazardly as though the sight of Bucky on his bed was the hottest thing he had ever seen. Then he felt Steve’s warn body behind him again, his voice softly crooning again as he kissed at a spot between his shoulder blades. It was only when he was told to lean forward on his knees that he seemed to have some idea what was going on. He could feel Steve’s lips still grazing over his back and the shudder that ran though his body at the fact that what he was craving was so close. So damned close. It only seemed to get better when he heard Steve’s caring voice whispering in his ear.

“If you feel at any point like you don’t want to do it, all you have to do is tell me Buck.”

No-one else got to hear that voice and it assured Bucky more than anything.

When he didn’t get any reply of wanting to stop, it seemed to reassure Steve enough to continue. His kisses on his back turning into small nips that made Bucky sure more than anything that the inevitable was happening. He heard the squelch of lubricant being put on Steve’s fingers and the sudden thrust inside him with one finger, coating his insides as though Steve wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt his friend, no matter how rough the activities. It wasn’t until Bucky was gasping for more that Steve pulled his finger out, the squelch of more lubricant and the quick insertion of two fingers which came with pain that the previous one hadn't. 

Bucky bit his lip hard, knowing any noise and Steve would stop, leaving him with blue balls for something so small. No, it was just his first time. What was the saying about the first time hurting the most? No he’d be fine.

He felt Steve scissoring his fingers open and closed a few times to stretch the muscles before extricating his fingers. The squelch soon followed and the insertion of three fingers followed, causing Bucky’s back to straighten up at the pain. There really was no way of getting used to it, but Steve didn’t immediately stop, just softly hushed in his ear and assured him it would be more than worth it. Then his fingers were again removed, and while Bucky immediately expected the squelch again instead he heard Steve’s soft voice telling him to grip on to the bed frame and not let go. Bucky’s grip on his lip was getting painful but he did as asked, clasping his hands around the bed frame before resting his forehead against it as well. It was then he heard something being ripped open, fumbled with and then the squelch again. 

He felt Steve’s hands resting on his hips, fingertips brushing against skin softly as he guided Bucky’s legs a little wider before he felt Steve’s first thrust inside him. It took him slightly by surprise and caused his back to arch in the air while his grip on the bed frame tightened. The thrusts came in a sharp rhythm that shook through Bucky’s body with every movement, but it was only when he began to feel the jolt over and over again that he knew that Steve had found the right spot. He screwed his eyes closed and soon behind his eyelids were exploding with stars as he came. But even when he was spent he still felt Steve thrusting in over and over until he accomplished his own orgasm, Steve’s voice gasping his name in his ear assuring Bucky that the game was over even in his unconscious state.

He came around soon, still cuffed to the bed, with Steve sitting beside him watching him as though waiting for him to wake up. It was only when he made a soft hoarse noise that Steve smiled softly and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Hey, you had me worried there for a second. You've been out quite a while.” Steve said, grabbing the keys for the cuffs from the nearest dresser and removing the handcuff from the bedframe. Only then was Bucky free to roll on to his back, staring at Steve as he undid the other cuff from the chain before throwing the pair aside and moving on to another key on the key ring.

“Sorry…I guess getting fucked makes me unusually tired.” He croaked, holding his cuffed hands up to Steve who opened the cuff around his flesh wrist first.

“It happens to the best of us.” Steve assured him, opening the cuff around his metal wrist before throwing the pair of cuffs to join the others on the floor along with the keys. 

It was only then that Steve cuddled up to Bucky, nuzzling at Bucky’s neck softly as Bucky tried to figure out if what had just happened had actually happened. How was it that his good natured and completely pacifist best friend could be such a demanding taskmaster? 

“Go on…I know what you’re gonna ask.” Steve murmured into his skin sleepily, as though all the events of the evening had worn him out.

“How the hell did you get to be such a sexual deviant?” Bucky asked, watching Steve blush a little but open his weary eyes to meet those of his best friend and lover.

“I wouldn’t quite phrase it like that…but I am Captain America remember? There’s nothing that says Captain America doesn't fantasise about bossing his best friend around into submissive situations like that. Even back in the war…I did kind of fantasise about it when I was thinking about you. I just guess I never thought I would get around to fulfilling it.” Steve said softly, brushing his fingertips over Bucky’s jawline.

“Nothing wrong with that….positions of power and all that.” Bucky smiled, kissing Steve’s thumb when it brushed over his lips.

“Yeah…though I do have to ask…did you ever have any kind of fantasies about the two of us?” Steve asked, tilting his head as Bucky settled back into his pillow.

“Loads. I mean I have had feelings for you for quite a while pal. It’s only natural right?” Bucky said, as Steve rested his head under his chin.

“It is…did any of them ever have to do with the Captain America getup?” Steve asked curiously looking up at Bucky whose eyes were now closed, a smile now on his lips.

“I guess you’ll never know.” Bucky murmured as Steve turned the light off, submerging the room into darkness. 

From the most unlucky day in his existence all in twenty four hours. As long as Steve was around Bucky didn’t doubt those days would continue to be the best in his life. He was the luckiest man alive to find Steve again and there was no way he was going to let that sliver of luck disappear from his life again.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> My first time doing Bucky and Steve :/ and while in some ways I'm happy with it in others I'm just not . I don't know why. My inner perfectionist I guess...maybe the excuse I need to write more...who knows. Hope my prompter isn't too disappointed...


End file.
